Sunday, May 20, 2012

The Shit-Fuck

As you will see, Knees Calhoon doesn't discriminate against songs just because they're stupid. And to be fair, someone had to address the tragic situation where a young man might not know when he is ejaculating. 

Flash-forward to July 2013: I found a decent brums/bass combo in Band in a Box and decided to redo this classic from 1965. I kept the same piano and guitar licks as the first version (but actually played better back in 1993). The main difference is the overabuse of the harmonizer by a pack of angry gorillas. I have no idea how they got into my pajamas.

Written: Monterey Street, Farmington NM, circa 1965

Back in 1965 there were a lot of songs introducing new dances and one day when the Torques were rehearsing Knees said, “Guys, we need to come up with a good name for a new dance so we can write a hit record about it.” Dwight the bass player immediately piped up, “The Shit-Fuck!” We shuddered to think what the dance would be like but this is the song that emerged.

Everybody’s doin it, doin it, doin it
Grabbin some ass an screwin it, screwin it
It don’t take long sonny if you’re strong
Let me show you how so you don’t do it wrong.

First you ease it in then in an out, in an out
It hurts so good
It makes you wanna jump n shout
She must have twelve inches
Cuz you’re in all the way
Now you know why the cocksmen say

Do the shit-fuck (in an out)
Do the shit-fuck (in an out)
Do the shit-fuck (in an out)
Do the shit-fuck (in an out)
When you feel your balls a-drummin
Sonny then you know you’re comin
Do the shit-fuck.