Sunday, May 20, 2012

The Shit-Fuck

As you will see, Knees Calhoon doesn't discriminate against songs just because they're stupid. And to be fair, someone had to address the tragic situation where a young man might not know when he is ejaculating. 

Flash-forward to July 2013: I found a decent brums/bass combo in Band in a Box and decided to redo this classic from 1965. I kept the same piano and guitar licks as the first version (but actually played better back in 1993). The main difference is the overabuse of the harmonizer by a pack of angry gorillas. I have no idea how they got into my pajamas.




Written: Monterey Street, Farmington NM, circa 1965

Back in 1965 there were a lot of songs introducing new dances and one day when the Torques were rehearsing Knees said, “Guys, we need to come up with a good name for a new dance so we can write a hit record about it.” Dwight the bass player immediately piped up, “The Shit-Fuck!” We shuddered to think what the dance would be like but this is the song that emerged.

Everybody’s doin it, doin it, doin it
Grabbin some ass an screwin it, screwin it
It don’t take long sonny if you’re strong
Let me show you how so you don’t do it wrong.

First you ease it in then in an out, in an out
It hurts so good
It makes you wanna jump n shout
She must have twelve inches
Cuz you’re in all the way
Now you know why the cocksmen say

Do the shit-fuck (in an out)
Do the shit-fuck (in an out)
Do the shit-fuck (in an out)
Do the shit-fuck (in an out)
When you feel your balls a-drummin
Sonny then you know you’re comin
Do the shit-fuck.


Atombook

2 comments:

  1. Classy! :)

    I don't think I told you that Johan K., if I recall correctly -- one of the original HSKS members -- was once in a band called the Torquays. And I once saw an old drum in an antique store painted with a Torquays logo. The name was in the air in the '60s. But I vastly prefer the pronunciation "torks"!

    ReplyDelete
  2. For the benefit of those who don't know the Torques story, here it is: My high school band back in Farmington NM in 1962-65 was the Torques, which rhymed with Dorks, as we were regularly reminded. It was a name I thought unique and was proud of it.

    Then around 2003 I found out online that George W. Bush was a clapper for a band named the Torques back at Andover prep school. They were called the Tor-kays. A clapper is a member of a boy group that does drills and little dances in front of a band. In New Mexico there were no clappers.

    You say Torque and I say Torque and I'll beat you by a syllable.

    ReplyDelete