How about another adorable pastiche from Legs Muldoon, aka Dugym Qycfyl, aka Jim Weiler? This time it's a country tune in the Merle Haggard vein, and in fact, if I didn't know that Jim was probably not all that familiar with the Hag's songs I'd say he was trying to do a sequel to "Mama Tried". In any case, the first thing that I thought of to play when I saw the words was "Mama Tried". And of course I go with the first thing that pops into my head.
I would have sworn that Jim gave me the words to this song back in the 20th century but the lyric sheet says it all.
If I were to follow Jim's directions better, it would probably be a better song, but having a dramatic pause is something I haven't worked with Band in a Box well enough to pull off.